I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
