About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.