dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday