My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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