at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.