We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.