Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
