i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
false alarm, still single
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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