So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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