I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
