she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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