so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
