do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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