Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There's always time for handjobs
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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