I am in a vortex of obligation.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
