He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize