Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
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I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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