I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
