Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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