Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
