don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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