Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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