this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
