I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it's like heaven, but drunker
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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