do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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