Who wears a wallet chain?!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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