do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
