Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
