All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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