An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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