We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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