he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize