It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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