Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
