Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
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Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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