Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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