yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
