dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
