Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
where are my eyebrows?
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