nut hugger
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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