Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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