You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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