Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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