I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
