my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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