I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
