I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
