Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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