just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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