I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
