I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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