Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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