If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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