just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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