i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
