i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
