Screwed.edu
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
