He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Less talking, more tequila
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
