you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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